And, just like that, nine months have passed and I’m looking ahead to what the future holds.
If you remember, my moving to Spain was, in part, thanks to a job offer my boyfriend received. His contract ends next week and we still have no idea what the next step is.
At this stage, only one thing is certain.
We’ll move back to England for the summer. The contract on our apartment in Igualada runs out at the end of June so we’d essentially be homeless and, without work in Spain, the boyfriend needs to return to England to make some money (TEFL teaching is much more lucrative in England in summer).
For the past week I’ve been pushing everything to the back of my mind, partly because I can’t quite believe how quickly the last nine months have gone.
I can still feel the fear of having to quit my full-time job, I can still feel the excitement bubbling in my stomach at the prospect of moving to Spain, and I can still feel the tangle of nerves and anticipation as I boarded that first flight to Barcelona back in September.
It’s been nine months and I still feel all of those things as if they’d just happened yesterday.
Except they didn’t.
I’m sitting in my apartment typing this, with the sun poking out every now and again, (seriously, it’s been cloudy for days), trying to sort out the range of emotions I’m feeling.
I feel sad, because I’ve grown fond of Igualada. I’ve made friends, and I’ve got to know this fascinating part of the world.
I feel happy, because I get to spend the summer with my family and friends back in England.
I feel proud, because I actually did it. I moved to Spain and I loved it. I’m proud because I pulled off this freelance malarkey and created a lifestyle that I could only have dreamed of this time last year.
I feel disappointed, because I haven’t seen as much of Spain as I would have liked.
I feel nostalgic, because I’m literally the worst person at endings ever. Even if I hated Igualada (which is far from the truth), I’d still probably cry boarding the plane back to England.
I feel hopeful, because the next year holds endless possibilities.
I feel anxious, because the next year holds endless possibilities.
I feel like I need to sleep for at least a week.
But this isn’t the end of this adventure. Oh no. I’ve realised lately that this year was only the beginning.
So what could the next year hold?
At the moment, there are three options that rise above all the rest, whether it’s through convenience, financial issues, or general wanting.
Option #1: Stay in Igualada
Did you hear me earlier when I said I’m the worst person at endings ever? I’m pretty sure I’m incapable of saying goodbye to anything, let alone a place that I’ve called home for the best part of a year.
No matter how many times I’ve hankered for big cities like Valencia and Barcelona, Igualada has been exactly what I needed. Plus, I feel like I’ve just got settled here. I’ve made friends, I know my way around, and the locals are accustomed to me attempting to speak terrible Spanish. So why would I leave now?
Very valid question.
There’s still so much of Spain (and the world) I want to see, but part of me feels like I need to give Igualada another chance now that we’ve got past the initial introductions.
Luckily, it’s still a very viable option. My boyfriend is able to renew his contract here in September, so there’s a large possibility that I’ll be back here, in this very apartment, wondering where the past nine months has gone this time next year.
Option #2: Somewhere else in Spain
When I first arrived in Igualada I loved its quaintness, but I couldn’t find a connection with it. I was used to city life, where I could get to London in under an hour and visit the shops at any time of the day.
It’s been a blast getting to know Catalonian culture and Igualada has grown on me so much, but there’s still a niggling at the back of my mind that’s inviting me to try somewhere new. Where will that be? I have no idea.
The boyfriend’s applying for some jobs across Spain, but we’ll only bite if the offer’s right. It feels like we’re cutting it fine, but, if there’s anything the past nine months have taught me, it’s to chill out and go with the flow.
Option #3: Move back to England
This is bottom of the list for a reason. It’s not something I want to entertain just yet, but it does come with a huge range of benefits (being close to family and friends being the biggest one). I still want to improve my Spanish and explore life outside of England, but sometimes you just have to… go with the flow.
The boyfriend has applied for a couple of jobs in England that are much better paid than the Spanish ones and offer much better lines of progression. Who am I to say no to him for that?
At the moment it seems like we’ll take option 1 and give Igualada more of our love. It really is a great city and I’d love to get to know it better.
I’m hoping we’ll know what we’re doing in the next two weeks or, by the latest, when we go back to England at the end of June. Until then, I’ll be sitting here wondering where the hell the last nine months went.
I’m in a similar situation as I spent 9 months in Boston while my husband studied there (I on the other hand travelled, blogged and spent my well earned savings). Unfortunately we didn’t have the option of extending our stay and we’re back in Greece. It’s my homeland and a part of me feels nice being here, but with our financial (and political) woes it’s not the best place to be right now! Plus I had such a good time in the US, so I miss dearly my time there.
Anna recently posted…Instagram {aspects} #15 – Back Home
Ah it’s a shame you couldn’t stay – will you go back to US at somepoint? I hope it works out for you Anna!
When I got home from teaching in Korea, I was severely depressed and felt like I just wasn’t ready to leave it behind. I moved across Canada with the thought that I might find a place to settle for a while, but the whole time I just wanted to leave again. And now I’m heading to South America for as long as my savings with sustain me. Who knows what comes next?
It is tough to leave places behind, but I think part of you knows what is the right decision for you. I always knew I’d leave Canada again, the decision came naturally. If you feel like Igualada or Spain at large is the place for you, follow that. The trick to life is following your bliss, after all!
Marie @ Marie Away recently posted…Why you should always know where you’re going
So true about following your bliss! I’m pretty certain that Spain’s the place I want to be right now, so I think anywhere here will be great 🙂 It’s killing me slowly waiting to see what options we have with other parts of Spain though! I’d love to head to South America at somepoint, too.
What a great post and I feel your turmoil as i’m in a very similar position after 18 months in Italy which have been great but now its time to go home. I’m proud I actually did it too as I talked about doing it for 5-6 years and bored my friends daft with my dreams! But dreams do come true and now you know that whatever you set your mind to, you can do it!!! Best wishes for the next chapter, wherever that takes you and thanks for sharing! :o)
So glad you did it Liz! I was the same re:- talking about it to anyone and everyone who would listen, but I still think everyone was kind of surprised when I ACTUALLY did it. Thanks for your kind words 🙂
Its not easy to learn to go with the flow, but you can be rewarded with the ability to take advantage of opportunities you couldn’t see ahead of time. I think that you are courageous for ignoring the certain nay-sayers and living your dream, warts and all. I’m about to embark on a new adventure as well, leaving a career of 25 years for something as yet undefined. It will be a return to what I enjoy best — experiencing life in the moment!
Thanks so much Kacy! Would love to hear about your new adventure (especially if it enjoys experiencing life in the moment!) 🙂
I have a feeling I would be just as conflicted as you if I were in the same situation!! It’s hard to maneuver between that feeling of comfort and wanting to explore somewhere new. I’m sure whatever you decide will lead you down an exciting path regardless! What freelancing jobs did you do in Spain? I’m navigating the waters of that world now and am a little anxious about it working out!
Shelly I Norway to Nowhere recently posted…5 Things We Miss About America While Traveling
It’s definitely difficult trying to find that balance, but I guess it’s a nice position to be in. I do freelance writing online so, whilst I was living in Spain, I only worked with one Spanish company. Mainly I use Elance and job boards like ProBlogger and AllIndieWriters to find work, but I’ve also had a number of clients approach me in recent months, too. What kind of freelancing are you looking to go into? Would love to help out in any way I can!
At first: I really like your blog. 🙂
I have always made my decisions early – and changed them later. But (maybe luckily?) I have to know my plans in advance because I am studying at university and want to finish my degree. Currently I am planning to study abroad for half a year – in October I will move to England. England has always been my favourite country, that’s why I don’t really understand why you want to leave it. The answer to this question would be really interesting for me.
I don’t want to criticise your decision, I just want to know if there is “something wrong” with England/Britain. 😀
Hi Julia, thanks so much for stopping by! I agree that making decisions is easier when you have a long term goal (i.e. studying for a degree). Studying abroad in England will be great! Do you know whereabouts you’ll be based? I have absolutely nothing against England – in fact, I love it – but I want to explore more of the world and try out other places before I finally “settle down” (which I have no doubt will be in England) 🙂
I really hope it will be great. To be honest, I love this country as far as I have seen it and so I am a bit jealous of everybody living there. 😀 I will be studying in Oxford (feels really weird to say that and it is funny because with my grades at my final exam I would have never been accepted there). I hope the people there will be okay, I heard lots of things about that..
Oxford is a lovely city, so I’m sure you’ll have a great time! Where are you coming from?
I’m from Germany 🙂